My tone is not meant to be obnoxious. I am in a state of shock.
[Flannery O’Connor]

and she said:

“It’s just—I get the cheap Greek yogurt, and then a clove of garlic—they call for tons of garlic, but I don’t need it to be dragon-fire-breathing strong, so I put in one. And then salt and pepper. And oh, the cucumbers—they say to cut out the seeds and put it in a food processor or something, but I thought, that’s ridiculous—the crunchy part is the best part! And the seeds are crunchy. So I leave the seeds in, and chop it up fine. And they say to put in olive oil, but I only put a little. And then they say red wine vinegar but I put in white balsamic. You know, a tablespoon or so for a cup. They also say to drain the Greek yogurt, but I did that once, in a sieve, and it didn’t make any difference. So I don’t. Really simple.”